I prefer to have the house as baby-friendly as possible, so that there is plenty of room for them to scoot around, pull up, and explore their surroundings. But they also need to learn boundaries from the get-go, and the very first and necessary "NO" for all 4 kids has been Tikki's bowl and plate in the kitchen. At about 7 or 8 months of age they start creeping and crawling about, and are inevitably drawn to the shiny bowl full of water. The first attempt is met with a sharp "NO!" and a flick on the back of the hand from Dad, followed by big tears and comforting words and kisses. Signe and Gunnar only needed a couple flicks each to get the message, and the water bowl was ignored. Karsten has so far amazed us with how quickly he "got it", setting a record with one and only one challenge (so far). He initiated a couple approaches after the first admonition, but each was met with a firm verbal "NO TOUCH, Karsten" from Mom or Dad. He looked at the parent with a screwed-up face that hadn't decided whether to cry or not, then simply rotated around and propelled himself to some safer corner of the kitchen.
Now Zane? Well, I have to chuckle when I think back to Zane. How many times did he touch, splash in, dump on the floor, or otherwise meddle with that shiny bowl of water? 15 times? 20? 30? We soon lost count. I also do not possess enough of the "flicking power" that Daddy has, so my discipline efforts were often met with a passive look that seemed to say "Really? That all ya got?" I had to resort to good old-fashioned spanking with my B-Zay much sooner then the earlier two in order to get through to him.
As Zane started walking he became more creative in his disobedience. In the kitchen he would stand by the water bowl, look straight at me, and then slide his foot over and lightly tap the outside with his toe. If a child barely one year old could articulate his thoughts, I am sure it would have been along the lines of "See that? I'm not actually TOUCHING it. My foot doesn't count. I'm following the letter of the law. Watcha gonna do about it? Huh? Huh?" Sorry, Zane, it does count. No touch is no touch, no matter what the offending body part. After trying this tact a few times, he proceeded to test the boundary further. He toddled over with loaded arms and carefully dropped toy after toy into the water bowl. His rationing was obvious: "What? I didn't touch it!!!"
Bonnie and I have marveled at how loudly this child made his growing presence known, even when he was no bigger than a fingernail inside me. I spent the better part of 4 months plastered to the couch, leaving the house exactly twice (both doctor's appointments), and unable to even sit up without encountering waves of nausea. I attempted several times to walk all the way down the driveway to get the mail, but failed. I hardly moved, but still lost weight as I struggled to eat anything. By God's grace the debilitating nausea relented by about 20 weeks of pregnancy, and I was able to stand up and actually walk through the kitchen (victory!!!).
After Zane was born, he also had a more challenging baby temperament. He fought naps. Sometimes it was noon, and the little 6-month-old had been wide awake since 7. He didn't like to be left to his own entertainment, so sometimes I spent the entire day holding him. It was very tough to wean him even at the age of 15 months (when I was always pregnant with Karsten), because he used nursing as the way to cope with all the bonks and scrapes in life. The biggest blessing he did provide for us was sleeping through the night easily by 6 months of age, unlike any of his other siblings. I think the extra meat on his bones helped in that regard.
Nick and I know we have our work cut out for us with this child. He is slow to obey. He wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it, irregardless of consequences. He makes our ears throb with screams both when angry and excited. He has very little impulse control, particularly with food, and we want to help him learn self-control before the temptations become bigger. But we are so lucky to have him here as well. He loves attention, and soaks up every hug, every kiss, and endless knock-em-down brawls with Daddy. He loves to be Mommy's helper, even if it means all the laundry I just pulled out of the dryer is thrown all over my bed and dirty dishes are removed from the dishwasher. He often tells Karsten he loves him, even while rolling around the ground with the poor baby in a semi-choke hold. (Karsten is proving to be remarkably tough, I might add). I look at this cute and funny little boy, and I see a personality that is challenging now, but if channeled can blossom into a young man that God can someday use to do powerful things. May we never lose faith in what God can and will do through our children.